Sunday, February 19, 2017

The Amazing Journey

I looked back on all my progress and posts since my surgery and it's really been an amazing journey.  One of the main things I have picked up from the Healthy Behaviors classes I have been taking is that it's important to be present and aware of where I am, what I am doing and the steps I am taking.  Instead of just letting life happen around me,  I need to steer the direction it takes me.  A day can sometimes go by in a blur without really being mentally present and aware.  It's a strange phenomenon and I think I often allow this to happen when I have to deal with unpleasant things, but when I stop to be more aware, time moves along a little slower and I can participate more.  It's sounding more complicated than it really is.  But I think the most important aspect of this is that when head hunger or temptations come my way, being focused in what's affecting me at that moment to cause those feelings, and stopping to ask myself why I feel the way I do, and then if I truly can and do need or want what I am "craving" then I can make that decision with better information.

Food.  It's constantly on my mind, unless I am busy at work or working out on my treadmill, but maybe it's like that for everyone?  My husband has never had a weight issue, but when he is home, he eats almost constantly all day.  Lots of little snacks of this and that, but none ever very healthy.  When he is at work, he doesn't allow himself to eat much because he doesn't enjoy feeling overfull, especially since his work is mainly physical.  I admit that I sometimes have a difficult time watching him eat doughnuts, Cheetos, chocolate, etc.  I don't even necessarily want this stuff, but the idea of sitting and snacking along side of him enters my mind.  I am sure, down the road, when my sleeve isn't so constricted and I am able to eat more volume than I can now, those situations could be problematic and I will need to get a handle on my actions to avoid weight gain.  Just saying...it's a reality.  But, for now, I am trying to keep those actions and temptations under control.

Today being Sunday, I am doing my usual lazy day activities.  I did commit to a weekend step challenge and am in last place.  I told myself that I would try to get in a walk, either outside (since the snow is no longer an issue) or back on my treadmill.  I confess to being pretty lazy most weekends,  but really make up for it from Monday -Friday. This week, however, I have Monday and Tuesday off from work and plan on enjoying that time for myself.  Tuesday is my 54th birthday.  I plan on either that day or Monday, taking myself out for a clothes shopping spree.  Happy Birthday to me!  My size 14 jeans are getting fairly loose on me and after a few hours, bagging around my hips.  I doubt that I can comfortably wear a size 12, but I want to see if its a possibility.  Additionally, I plan on packing up the closet of clothes I own that are so large I don't even bother with them, and donating them to charity.  There are some really nice clothes in there too...but, I don't plan on wearing them again, so it would be best to let someone else appreciate them for awhile.

I also plan to take some current  photos and find some pre-surgery photos for a comparison to share here.  I haven't intentionally avoided this, but the time has gone by fast, and I haven't taken the opportunities that I could have.

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