Late Night Ramblings

 As I sit here in my quiet home, soaking my poor foot that has an infected toenail for going on 2 weeks now, I am taking stock of my week, how I am feeling overall, and evaluating where my head is.

Work keeps me busy, but it has felt a bit like a drudge lately.  I was chatting with a co-worker today and she reminded me that I really ned to schedule some time off.  Even if just a few hours here and there...I need to step away.  We have been doing a lot of interviews in the last few weeks so I have felt the need to be there and available because I am on the interviewing staff, but maybe soon I can consider it.

The weather is finally improving, but with this bad toe, I haven't been able to wear a shoe that adds any pressure.  My sneakers would be painful, and its not really practical to take a walk for exercise in a pair of sandals.  So I am hopeful soon I can get myself out there again.  I am missing it a lot. 

Tonight I have 2 of my granddaughters spending the night.  Brinnsen and Sidney, aged 10 and 8.  We sat around in the living room watching BTS music videos and visiting.  Isn't it ironic that the boy band I enjoy watching, also happens to be one that my 10 year old granddaughter also likes.  (face palm)

My weigh ins this week have gone up and down, but the lowest so far was 195.8.  That was exciting to see.  I think I can safely say I shouldn't bump up into the 200's again now.  I hope not anyway! I think sometimes my carbs go a little higher than I want, but my portion sizes are not that large, so it seems to balance itself.   Still just trying to avoid the obvious high carb culprits and mainly get them from natural sources, like fruits and vegetables.  Actually, the only fruit I eat is an apple and usually just 1 per day.  It doesn't feel like a crime ya know?  Still trying to avoid those all or nothing attitudes that have self-sabotaged  in the past.

So, I keep plugging along and feel grateful that at least I am where I am now and not starting over where I was 6 months ago.  Still have further to go on this journey of course but am realizing more and more that I will get there when I get there!

Sticking With It

 I am feeling pretty good about myself lately.  It's okay to give myself the pat on the back for sticking with this since November.  No tricky diets or expensive food plans.  Just modifying how many carbs I allow myself to have.  Avoiding bread, potatoes, popcorn and the like.  I do on a rare occasion allow a little taste of something that might not be the best choice for a full portion, but that happens really rarely.  Has it been hard?  Am I haunted by food talking to me from the pantry or the refrigerator?   Not really!  And that's the good news.  It's not full on Keto, but I do think I am pretty much in ketosis most of the time regardless.  If that even matters?

Today I was 196.6.  So...in 2 weeks I've lost 2 lbs?  But really its hard to say because in that 2 weeks it. fluctuated up and down a few times.  But today and yesterday its stuck at the same, so I am going to say that's the number.  That's okay.  There have been weeks where I have lost nothing at all, but the trend is in the right direction.  I am no longer living in my pajamas only and can wear my jeans again and some of my tops from before.  It feels good!

Today I got my 2nd COVID-19 vaccination.  My arm hurts a lot,  but so far no real side effects.  I hope it stays that way!!

Onederland...Again

 I maintained my weight under 200 lbs on my daily weigh ins all last week.  The prior week or so, it would bump up and down over 200 and just under.  I think I can safely say, I am now under.  When I was working Keto a year ago and about the same time all of the world shut down in the pandemic, I went under 200 lbs and then, soon after, started the climb back up to where I had to start all over.  So, happily...I am back where I was a year ago.  Small victories!!  Considering I have spent a lot of my adult life with regrets about the shoulda coulda's, I will be happy that today I am satisfied with the "made it!".

This morning I came in at 197.  3/34/21 was the last day over 200.  I am going to try really hard to make that stick!

I need to schedule a cheat weekend soon, but I think I want a bigger buffer between wherever I land and 200.  Yes, I am fixated on the number....but these little milestones are obviously important to me or I wouldn't have bothered blogging about it.

Spring is officially here now.  I have take a few opportunities to get outside and walk with the dogs.  I still could improve in this area though...

Take A Hike

It feels like spring is truly just around the corner.  I actually went outside over the weekend, put in my earbuds and listened to music and walked and walked.  It was great.  You wouldn't think a walk would be a big deal...but this chick has been housebound for a YEAR.  I went out only in limited doses, like to a grocery store, nothing else.  And my body responded like it had been sitting in an office chair for a year.  Sore legs and aching hips.  I don't care...I feel that energy coming back and the desire to do it again.  Somehow I need to shed the pajama clothes and make myself get out there.  Plus, the dogs really like the walk too.

Depression.  It's a real partner in my life.  I did notice though some happy feelings accompanied with the exercise and music combination.  I have started to really enjoy the Korean band, BTS.  I am this "old" lady in Boise, but love this music from these 20 something year old guys.  They have energy, a happy energy and it's really contagious to me.  The music is awesome too...and good for a walk with the volume cranked up in my earbuds.  I can't understand most of what they are singing/rapping, but it makes me smile, and I have needed something to smile about lately.  Plus their dance moves are amazing.  I haven't been a boy band fan since I was a teenager in the 70's.  But it can be my secret.  It's not like I can talk to anyone about this.  It's not hurting anyone that I am a secret "army" member.

 

On Monday I had a shocking 198 lb weigh in.  Surprised me because I woke up feeling kind of bloated.  I sure did like the surprise of that!  Of course this morning I was back to the 200 mark.  Grrrr....not too much of a big deal though.  I've been taking the increases and decreases as they come for about 4 months now and overall it's been a downward trend, and that's what counts.  I have really been trying to work on the all or nothing attitude that plays with my mind all my life.  Just keep pushing forward and try, try again.  Plus, I can look forward to those planned out "going off program" weekends where it's fine to indulge.  Then back on again.  I have not planned the next date though...and I really should do that soon.  Not take it soon, just plan when it will be so it's more meaningful.