Sunday, March 26, 2017

Trying on New Sizes - Saturday Adventures in Shopping

Yesterday wasn't a typical Saturday as I went to town on my own while my husband stayed home and worked on some house painting and organizing of his collection room. I started my day with a gel manicure as a reward for all my hard work and progress. From there I went to the mall to find some clothes for work.

I don't think I have ever shopped at Old Navy before, but was pleasantly surprised at the cute clothes I found there. I am still somewhat in a quandary when I try clothes on as to what size I should be taking into the dressing room with me. So,for good measure, I took in some size 12's, and size 10's and a few tops to try. Honestly, I was feeling more optimistic about the 12's, but the ones I have currently keep falling off of me and I am tired of the baggy rear look. The first pair were some cropped boyfriend jeans. These were 10's. They were very relaxed and not snug at all. I felt they were going to become too loose too fast so I set them aside and tried on everything else. I ended up with some clearance size 10's and those cropped jeans. On a whim, I went to find a pair of 8 in the same style and sure enough...those came home with me!
These are the Old Navy size 8's.  Of course, as mentioned, the upper half of me doesn't quite match the bottom half of me. But, I will get there!

JC Penney and then Kohl's were my next stop. Another pair of cropped gray jeans and a series of tops. Overall, I'd call the day a success! Now I have some clothes for work so I'm not wearing the same 3 tops and saggy jeans every day!
I think this was my favorite blouse and jeans combo.  This is basically my style and I was happy to find a top I liked.

This blouse was really "wide" and billowy.  I think it's supposed to be that way, but what I really liked was the soft colors and the print.  Plus, I think it looked pretty good with the gray jeans.  It will require a tank underneath though, because it's very sheer.

I had mixed emotions about this blouse.  The color and print aren't really me, but I liked the fact that it had the bell sleeves and was very soft and comfy.

this was so cheap on clearance that I went ahead and got it.  It has some pretty lacy trim across the bottom and in the back, and at this point fits a bit snug...but in a month or so I think it will be fine, despite warmer weather on the way.

this has a weird angle because of the 3 mirrors overlapping.  The shirt was really just for fun and to make my husband smile.  It worked!

In looking at these photos it occurs to me that as I lose weight it seems to be mainly off of my lower body and that's why the smaller sized pants are getting rapidly smaller. And while I have definitely reduced my upper body, I'm still looking disproportionate. With about 35 more lbs to lose, it makes sense there's still time for things to even out.

After my shopping spree, I did food shopping and picked up a pizza for Jims dinner and came home. I, of course, made my fathead pizza with black olives and pineapple.  It's my favorite combo right now since the crust and cheese has enough protein on its own.

The rest of the day I worked on crotcheting a slouchy beanie, just for fun. Good day!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Doctor Day and New Sizes

I am taking a moment to write before I go get ready for work.  Today I visit my PCP and she is going to go over the latest blood work numbers with me.  I did see a sneak peek of my results online, so I know I did pretty good!  But, I will talk about that later.

I seem to be bouncing back and forth in weight again this week, but that's ok.  I know my size 11/12 jeans are falling off of me.  It's strange how quickly that happened because I only bought them a month ago and they were tight enough I almost didn't buy them.  On Wednesday I went shopping on my lunch hour.  Actually it was just looking as I didn't buy anything, but I digress.  I took a couple pairs of size 10's into the dressing room, along with some medium tops.  Just to see...

The size medium tops were a bit snug still, and that's fine, but my arms fit in them pretty well, which is a milestone all on its own.  I do have an issue in the way my arms look now.  I have lost a lot of weight in my upper arms, so that has left behind a lot of wrinkly skin.  And because I am no spring chicken anymore, that wrinkly skin is apparent in almost every position I have my arm.  As we are moving into the warmer weather soon, it's going to be really difficult to find shirts with long or 3/4 length sleeves.  I am not sure how that's going to work out.

As to the least one of those size 10 jeans fit me TOO LOOSE!  Yes, it's true.  I am going to try on some other ones this weekend and hopefully pick up a few things I can wear to work.  Each different brand of jeans fits a bit differently. Sometimes, even the kind of fabric or color the jeans are in the same style can fit differently, so I am going to try on a few different ones and see if I can find something I am happy with.

Dr. visit update:
My physician was very happy with the fact I have been able to reduce my A1C to 5.9!!  YAY!  So, from 10.2 to 5.9.  This puts me in the "normal" range.  She also found that my lipid panels were great and my cholesterol was in the normal range.  Additionally, my blood pressure looked very good as well.  And, all of this has contributed to my well being and she recommends I start reducing my use of anti-depressants until I am weaned off.  So, here is what went down with medications.  I was taking 1000 mg Metformin, for my diabetes.  She now wants me to take 500 mg and only 1 time a day.  The Lisinopril, for my blood pressure, is currently 10 mg a day, and she'd like me to cut that in half and take only 5 mg a day.  I can completely stop taking Simvastatin for my cholesterol and as for the Wellbutrin for my depression, she'd like me to take that every other day for a couple weeks to wean myself off of them.

I call this a great success!!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Sometimes the Numbers on the Scale Don't Tell the Whole Story

Recently, I have noticed that the number on the scale isn't always indicative of what's really happening off the scale.  I have noticed my jeans getting looser in both the hips/tummy and thighs, even though the scale seems to fluctuate within the same 2-3 pounds.  I am not really all that worried about the numbers on the scale when it occurred to me I am already pretty pleased with the weight I currently am.  Sure, I want to get to a "goal" weight, but all in all...its not a race.    I do believe I will probably level out around a size 7 or 8 jeans.  My tops will probably be a medium.  I am still wearing a size 11/12 jeans and Large top...but that day is coming.  And, it's all pretty amazing.

I went to my PCP's office today to get my blood work done.  I am a little anxious to see what those results will be.  I return on Friday to discuss the numbers with my doctor.  I am hoping my A1C will be close to the normal range.  I confess that I am not 100% perfect in everything I eat.  I have taken a nibble here and there on a small piece of chocolate or a cookie.  It's a shame that those things don't affect me with dumping or something, but so far they never have.

Today marks my week 18 since VSG surgery.  My total weight loss since surgery is 65.7 lbs.  In looking at my weight chart and progress, I really have had a pretty steady loss all along the way.  I think I think there are fluctuations up and down, but really, that's just from my weighing myself every day.  In looking at the bigger steady downward progress!!

The best non scale victory (NSV) I have had lately is this:
Not only can I cross my legs, comfortably, for a long period of time, but I can do it sitting at my desk or a table and there is room for both of them to slide under there.  Plus, I have discovered how much more comfortable it is to sit that way, because it takes some of the pressure off of my tail bone which has been losing a lot of its cushy padding lately.

Last evening, I went to dinner with my son, Brandon, and his family.  After dinner, his wife took a picture of the 2 of us together so I could send it to another son, Trey, that currently lives out of state and hasn't seen me since November.  I decided to pair it up with a picture that was taken of me about the same time I decided to have surgery.  Obviously, the 2 pictures aren't like poses, but I think there is definitely some comparison's to be shared.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

4 Month Post Op, the Flu, and Realizations

The cold I developed over the weekend has turned into the full-fledged flu.  I left work early on Tuesday, and here it is Thursday and I am still not ready to return to work.  I did try to get up and try to motivate this morning, but I had no strength to follow through on anything and realized as I sat there staring at myself in the mirror with my head pounding and the clock ticking by that I wasn't going to make it work.  I just have no strength to get myself into gear.  So, I called into work and told them I wouldn't be in.  I had to call my former supervisor because I don't even have the new one's number in my phone.  I am sure he will be impressed to know that, but I do have it at work.  Between the change in teams, how woefully behind I am at my job and then these missing days, I predict I will spend a Saturday afternoon at the office, trying to catch up on things.  To top it all off, I feel a fever blister developing on my upper lip.  Stressed much?

I have officially made it to 4 month post-op. (see weight chart for the numbers) Its a pretty big milestone for me.  I have really been craving things though.  I don't even know what it is I am craving, but I just feel the need to eat and eat and eat.  I am suddenly seeing how it could be possible to regain weight as some food goes down pretty easy...the kinds of foods that aren't good for me anyway.  Luckily, I don't feel this way all the time, but when I do, I drive myself crazy with the thoughts in my head.  It's all very frustrating because I know I worked very hard to get myself to the place that I am; both pre-op and the stress and angst with all the insurance issues and approvals I waited and waited for, to the recovery from surgery and adjusting to an entire change in my life as I know it.  There is absolutely no excuse for giving into urges to eat crappy food.  And I have been woefully negligent in stocking my fridge and pantry appropriately to support myself when these things come up.  If I had a go-to "good" meal to eat or even a snack to eat, it would make a big difference.  So, I need to get myself together and take better care of me.

In one of my recent videos I made a comment about an experience I had where I witnessed someone eating a very large portion of food, where I knew they had weight loss surgery at one point in their life, and I experienced a moment of fear and awe that it would someday be possible to eat like that again.  I felt a little bad because my comment was somewhat judgmental, I think, and I honestly didn't mean to sound that way, but I think it could have been taken that way.  Some of the thoughts I had after that video and responses to comments, I thought I'd share here:

I don't think anything about this process, for me anyway, has been a quick or easy fix, but I sure have zero regrets. It was probably a good thing I saw the lady eating all the pizza because it was a wake up call that I need to focus on my journey and not on someone else's. The last thing I want to be or appear to be is judgmental of another person's choices. Heavens know I have made my fair share of bad choices and gaining weight after any "diet" is right up there among my more shameful. I have started to experience slider food experiences just recently. I was digging into a bowl of Halo Top ice cream the other evening which also had 1/2 sliced banana in it. It was an appropriate serving size (according to the label) but logically I knew it was by volume, more than I would normally eat. I had no problem eating it down to the last bite. No feelings of restriction at all. And...I am not even a sweets or ice cream person to begin with. So, if someone opened a bag of cheese puffs around me, I'd hate to think of how many of those I could inhale before enough was enough. I am being long winded here, but I think the last week or so I have come to the realization that I will need to continue to put the work in for the rest of my life. I am ever so grateful that this tool is helping get to that more "normal" weight in order to do so. The statistics of someone being 100 lbs overweight and losing without the extra help are quite dismal and I know I spend a whole lot of years battling that and losing time and time again.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

New Schedule

Over the weekend I developed a bit of a cold that is really affecting me in the mornings and giving my all to any kind of exercise routine.  It's Tuesday, and I did accomplish some work on the treadmill, but not nearly as intense or motivated as I should be. Additionally, my work schedule changed this week to an 8-5 shift.  In some ways that's good and just in time with the daylight savings time change that occurred over the weekend, but in other ways its not so great because my alarm went off at 4:30 this morning so I could try and get my 70-90 minutes on the treadmill.  Clearly, I need to reevaluate my priorities.  Particularly sleep!

I think I will dedicate more exercise time in the evenings now, because I was fairly miserable out there in my dismal garage so early in the morning.  It's just inhumane.

I had yesterday off from work, so today will be my first official day back to work since they have assigned me a new team to supervise at work.  I am still dealing with my life sorted into bins and not put away as I cleared things out of my original desk to make room for the new lead, and have things piled everywhere at the new desk.  I plan on hitting the ground running, however, and do the best that I can.  I deliberated calling in sick this morning because I don't really feel up to standard with this lousy crud running through my sinuses, but after exercising and eating my breakfast, I think I can make it through the day.

Here's hoping!

Over the weekend, my husband and I went out of town for a little get away.  He stopped along the freeway so I could pose under a sign for a small town named after me.  (or maybe that's just a coincidence?)

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Week 16

I have been meaning to write here all week, but then I don't come in and do that.  I thought I would try and a few lines this evening before I go to bed.  It's been a really rough week for me.  I had a few disillusionments at work; not being impressed with the way I was treated by someone I had respected.  I will get over it and move on, but it sure is mentally exhausting when that occurs.  I only need to make it through one more day, however, and I am off for a 4 day weekend.  I have been trying to give myself a 3 day weekend once a month this year.  I added another day this week though, because my husband thought it might be nice for him and I to go out of town overnight.  No one is more ready than me to do that!

I had a nice weight loss this week.  I updated the information on my weight chart, but I have made it to 60 lb weight loss!  Actually, a little over that.  I have also been working the late shift this week, so not getting home until nearly 9pm hasn't been the best experience for me.  I just keep telling myself this more day, one more day!

I will try and write more in the morning.  Sleep is what I need right now.