I thought I would update how things have been going. I am feeling a little bit better about turning things around and trying to get back on track. On Wednesday, I was able to stick to protein shakes all day except for 1 small apple in the evening that I sliced up and ate. I couldn't feel too guilty about 1 apple, right? Then on Thursday, I continued on the protein shake journey and in the evening, my husband took me out to dinner. Here things got a little out of control, because after we came home, he wanted a bowl of ice cream. I did end up having some ice cream too. Argh!! All in all, it was OK though. I didn't binge all evening after that and stopped eating altogether, in fact.
Today, I packed my lunch with 4 protein powders and that will get me through the day until this evening where we have planned to eat out again. He and I have a habit of eating out a lot when he is home (he works out of town most of the time), and usually it's not too much of a problem because I really can only eat so much dense food in one sitting. So, it's either pack it up and take it home or its a buffet and eat what I can and stop. The worst part is knowing when enough is enough because I have been known to end up in the restaurant bathroom throwing up because its just too much. Ugh. I try not to let it get there though.
I am hopeful I am turning a corner. This isn't a competition and there isn't a deadline really, and I do know this will be a lifelong endeavor, but I don't want to feel those old feelings and habits coming back and taking over me. I still want the control of my health.